Happiness Project Month 6

I love this monthly check in with my Happiness Project. While I haven’t been documenting in public and private on the daily. This blog post I’ve been doing each month prompts me to set my goals for the month and reminds me to keep the focus at the front of my mind.

In May my focus was on attitude. While I was very far from perfect, I feel like I made improvements and saw positive changes within myself. I did not start each day with a 10 minute meditation like I strived to, but I did check in with myself often to check my attitude. I did not do one act of kindness every day, but I did do acts of kindness regularly. I felt a shift, however slight, in my negative thoughts toward scarcity of time. Here were the goals I made and how I measured up.


MAY - ATTITUDE

  • start each morning with a 10 minute meditation, focusing on my outlook and attitude for the day
  • take mental note of negativity and complaining
  • resist raising my voice to my family
  • do an act of kindness each day
  • let it go. Whatever it is, let it go.
  • Do all things with love

my bridesmaids and I, photo  Lizzie Photo

my bridesmaids and I, photo Lizzie Photo

In June I will be focusing on friendship. I feel lucky and grateful for all the wonderful friends I have in my life. But it’s not without work. I have never taken my friendships for granted and always put in the effort to keep in touch. When I was younger I took it very personally when a friend canceled or didn’t make it to a party. I’ve always felt that you get to choose where and how you spend your time, and if someone doesn’t put in the effort it means they don’t value the relationship. I struggle with those feelings to this day. But it’s only gotten much, much harder to make that time as we’ve gotten older. It really takes time and commitment to keep relationships alive. I am grateful for the technologies that make it so much easier to keep friendships going throughout the years and across the world, despite our busy, full lives. This month I am committing to fostering those relationships that are so dear to me, I am planning on focusing on friendships, new and old.

What are your favorite ways to honor your friendships?


JUNE - FRIENDSHIP

  • Call or text one friend each day
  • send something in the mail to a friend each week
  • reach out to make a new friend
  • schedule a date to meet a friend I haven't seen in a while
  • do one thing to cultivate a young friendship

How to Make Friends on the Internet

After making the BIG move from New York to Grand Rapids, all I have to say is "god bless the internet." Making friends as an adult is hard, y'all. I am not from the area, so coming here, I was starting from zero. Of course one of the easiest ways you can make friends is at work, but I don't have a job here yet, and what if you're an entrepreneur, or the boss, or you just don't jive with the people in your office? You can't really go to the bar after work to pick up a new bestie, and there is no Tinder for finding friends (though there totally should be). Finding friends to connect with in adult life may possibly be more challenging than dating. But I have been putting myself out there and enjoying the company of incredible women, while exploring my new city. I am grateful to the internet for making it possible, here are 5 tips for finding friends on the internet. 

5 Tips For Making Friends on the Internet

1. Don't over think it. Just like when you were dating, don't read into texts or take it personally when someone doesn't respond. We've all got jobs, husbands, kids, etc, it's easy to let a message slip though the cracks. 

2. Slide into those DMs. Before I moved, I DMed women who I admired, and I continue to do so now. Find common ground as a reason to message, do they always geo tag your favorite coffee spot? Do you have kids that are the same age? That's your icebreaker. For me, they are usually creative and mostly entrepreneurs of some sort. I love connecting with women who are driven and have goals. 

3. Don't worry about sounding like an idiot. We aren't all lucky enough to have a built in friend group that lives in close proximity to go through life with, you never know who you might click with and who might be looking for a friend too. But, you definitely won't ever know if you don't connect, so send that message! 

4. Use hashtags to your advantage. Search and use hashtags that the type of friends you would want to connect with might use, for example #grandrapidsmom, #chicagoentrepreneur, #westmichiganblogger.

5. Once you've connected, make a date! This is the hard part, because as I've previously noted, we've all got busy lives. But, It takes meeting in person to know if you will be compatible IRL as real friends. As much as I love my internet friendships, finding a friend you can hang with and have a drink with, is even better, and you've got to get together to find out! 

BONUS: if you're new to the area, as I am, ask your "date" to pick their favorite spot, that way you can see more of the city and experience the recommendations of the locals

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